Five months ago, I wrote about how making big changes in our lives is bloody scary. I had decided to downsize my home so I could up-size my life and my career. In that article I also wrote about how things seemed to be lining up so perfectly in order for the changes to happen that it was surely meant to be and that the ‘Universe’ must really want this too!
Three days ago, I moved house.
As I prepared to move frantically taping down boxes and scribbling words on them that I’m now struggling to decipher less than a week later, including blow up monkey and… shitsuit?! (that one was wetsuit), I got to wondering about the part the Universe had played in all this. In my coming up with the plan to make the life I wanted for myself possible and completing the first big step by moving into my new, smaller (I like to call it bijou) home. I also pondered the role of the Universe during the wrangling over curtain poles, light fittings and built in dishwashers. During all those teeth grinding, hair tearing, heart racing, stomach churning and bang goes another couple of hundred quid on another legal policy thingy they say we have to have, moments?
What does ‘trust in the Universe’ really mean? And for that matter does trusting in the Universe stop me from feeling really scared and alone sometimes or does it make those big, life changing decisions any easier? And if I do trust in it will it mean that shit stuff will stop happening?!
Ask any of those questions to the me that lay in bed at 3am with her heart beating fast, nerves all jangly, mind racing with endless to do lists and unrealistic ideas of how she could cram all her stuff into her new bijou flat. That me that is now feeling just a little out of control and unsure about how she will be brave enough to initiate the next part of her masterplan. The bit where she ditches the secure job with the secure salary and goes it alone. In those moments does she say to herself “just trust in the Universe and everything will be ok.” Does she f**k!
What I do instead is remind myself of the years of soul searching, self-examination and self-development I have done to get here, right here, to this exact moment in my life. And I ask myself what is the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is not that I fail at my business ventures. It’s not that I have to go back and work for someone else again (which is actually just like going back to what I have now!). The worst thing that can happen is that I never try. I never get to help the people I want to help. And I never find out what I am truly capable of.
When I manage to gag the noisy, fearful, doubting, chattering monkey voiced me for a few moments I can hear a different me. The me that intuitively knows she is doing the right thing and can see beyond the doubts and the really scary uncertainty. The me that trusts in herself.
What has this got to do with the Universe? Maybe this trusting in myself, when I quieten the unhelpful chatter, connect with my intuition, my knowingness of my existence if you like, is where I connect with the thing I call the Universe. And maybe that Universe is a place where all of us connect more deeply with ourselves and with each other. Where we share our humanness and our sameness.
If this is true then the Universe is within me and within you and it’s also so much more than that!
One last thing, does this then mean that ‘trust in the Universe’ simply means ‘trust in yourself’?!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the Universe or anything else you’d like to ponder or share so don't ever hesitate to get in touch.