Saying "Yes" when you really want to say "No"
We all do it right? We say “yes” when we really want to say “no.”
We put on a smile and pretend. We stay quiet. We over-compromise. We under-value our needs. We tire ourselves out. We self-sabotage. We rarely, if ever, put ourselves first. We spend precious time and energy doing things that drain us, that we don’t have the room for right now in our lives, or feel pointless and make us miserable!
Wowsers! Are we crazy or what?!
I used to do this, a lot. Feeling the pressure of obligation and expectation. The tight knot of emotional guilt and anxiety at the thought of saying no. (it’s still a work in progress by the way!)
And if you’re anything like me then maybe you say yes to things for some of the same reasons – because you worry that people won’t like you, or they won’t ask you again. To avoid awkwardness or the feeling you’re letting someone down. Or because you worry people will judge you, think you’re boring or worse still, uncaring and selfish!
These stories and beliefs are sucking the life force out of you!
I want to give you a loving reminder today that you can say no.
Take a moment to ask yourself what will saying yes now cost me in the long term? Am I saying yes from a place of honesty? If I was able to say no more what could my life look like in terms of energy, love, authenticity?
And if you’re struggling to say no, try this - don’t just go into default yes mode! Check in with yourself. You don’t always have to decide right there and then. Give yourself some space to consider what feels right, what is most aligned with your values and your priorities (for yourself, the things that really matter and those you love).
You don’t have to say yes to everything. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be asked again. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be letting people down. It means you’re being honest and real. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t really want to be there? I know I don’t!
Then you can give the best of yourself, the most loving, giving, creative, passionate you, to the things that matter and the people that matter most in your life.