It's ok to question

You’re thinking and feeling things that are making you question your whole life and that’s a scary place to be.

How can you be gay, or bi or queer? I mean, you’ve had all those relationships with men and never questioned it before...

But what if it’s true. It feels impossible, too big, too daunting, too overwhelming.

So, you shove it down, try to forget about it, hope it will pass. Maybe its is just a phase or some sort of midlife crisis!

I gave myself such a hard time when I finally began to accept I was gay at 30. At first I panicked - I was so afraid I’d be judged or rejected by people closest to me. I was scared to speak to anyone - I felt confused, ashamed and guilty.

So, please if you are questioning right now, know that it's ok. Know that it's not wrong - when you grow up in a world where being straight is the only norm it's no wonder you've never allowed yourself to consider anything else before right?!

Be kind to yourself - prioritise your self-care and your wellbeing. It can feel so isolating and lonely but there’s lots of support and advice available. Talk to someone, a trusted friend or get in touch with a support service (my website has some really great contacts that will help ).

You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Exploring who you truly are and what you want for your life is the foundation. You don’t have to do any more than that. You don’t have to declare anything. You don’t have to take any huge dramatic action!

The relief and the freeing feeling when things feel clearer, when you know who you are, it’s so worth it, I promise.

p.s. if you’re struggling with any of this I’m here. If you feel I can support you in any way please get in touch.

Sarah TaylorComment